Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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