we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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