I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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