Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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