dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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