the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
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