Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
