dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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