I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
