You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
