she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
