even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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