Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
