I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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