You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
