I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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