dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
