Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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