i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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