Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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