Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
