weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
whose ass print is on the piano?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
