escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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