She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
