After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.