Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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