I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I need to calm my uterus...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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