i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Say something about gay babies.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize