Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
