Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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