do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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