So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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