Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
