so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
