Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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