her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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