my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
