Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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