If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
