but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
