Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
