there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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