So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
