I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
