Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
