i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
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#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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