dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize