That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
