I heard we made out
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
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I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize