Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
