omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
where are my eyebrows?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
