well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
