I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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