I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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