i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize