just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
