i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
