Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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