Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
