just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Mom said you looked used
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
