He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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