Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
