Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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