stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
