no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
