Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.