this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
In other news, I just burned my penis
That's what I'm talking about
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.