In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues