literally had 100 drinks last night.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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